A New Beginning.

I stopped running after my 10k.  I can tell you a million and one excuses why I stopped, but they all seem unimportant and really just that--excuses. 

Last December, my husband signed us both up for a half marathon. 

It's been in the back of my mind since then, but I have yet to start training. Again, I have hundreds of excuses.

Now the race is 11 weeks out and I am scared out of my mind.

In fact, I have real anxiety over it.  

I went for my first run, for like 7 months the other day and it was horrible. 

Every. single. minute. was horrible.  It was cold, windy, and my body was just screaming at me--wondering what in the heck I was doing.   I have been a couch potato for the past 7 months, and my body was shocked that I was actually running again.

The past two days, I have been telling my husband that there is no way I can do this. I am not ready at all and that I should change my race to the 5k.  

I fully intended to switch it over, but I feel like I need to do this. I need to prove to myself that I can indeed do HARD things.   I remember last year that I thought running a mile straight was seriously a miracle in itself.  So I know I can do this.  The only thing stopping me is myself.  More specifically my brain--it keeps telling me--there is no way I can do this.  I might as well not do it, to save myself from failing at something. 

Well, starting today--I am changing my attitude and perspective.  I am doing this for me. I am doing this to prove myself wrong. I am doing this because I AM STRONG.  I am doing this because I remember how awesome I felt all last summer when I was running.  I literally felt like I was on top of the world!  I want that feeling back, because I know I have lost it within the last 7 months.  It has slowly diminished over the course of all these months.  

Last year it was about losing a few pounds, well this time--it's not about the weight.  I am still the same weight I was when I stopped (miraculously enough) I am not going to worry about counting calories, but I am going to eat better.  I am going to try and fill my meals with more vegetables and add in healthier carbs when I can. 

I am keeping this blog as sort of a journal of my progress, and to keep myself motivated.  There are going to be hard days, when those negative thoughts creep back into my brain, and that's when I can come back here and look at how far I've come and can continue to go! 

This is the program I am going to do to help me achieve the half marathon:

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